Back in the day, when I worked at CSUN's Career Center, I never expected that I too would a career transitioning mom. I counseled a few of "them" in my time helping students plot their courses. The answers seem so much easier from where I was sitting at that time in history.
My career was so effortless, my experiences and contacts developing a rather direct path for me in the non profit/education management sector. I got paid to do tasks that many people can only do as volunteers. In many ways my jobs were dream jobs- I earned a living while supporting causes I care about and helping people.
Then I had my third child and the world shifted for me in so many ways. I needed my income source to be more flexible. I was sad at the years I was missing with my kids while I worked in an office. I wanted to be a different kind of parent. I also needed a larger income potential to be able to keep up with my growing family's needs. I needed to be bold and brave and quit my job and "find myself" in my career again. That was 2006.
When I first quit the stable job, I had a safety net. Or three. Those have eroded over the years now as I peel back my own priorities and examine several different models for how to survive and thrive in LA during The Great Repression.
I've tried to stay chipper during these years, but it's been a challenge.
This fall, my little dude heads to Kindergarten. Five years ago, his sister started at the same school. Because of my upbringing with divorced parents and several impacting moves in my life, having a consistent environment for my kids, especially around schools and social groups, has been a priority for me. I am proud of my ability to stay in LA and stick this all out, knowing that one day a solution will present itself and all of this difficultly will resolve into the "how" of the "what" will happen next. I'm also proud of the volunteer work we've done with the school over the past couple of years. Bill and I have reaped many benefits from our involvement including a rejuvination of our ability to trust the process and know that seemingly impossible plans do work out if you try and work hard enough. And are really stubborn, which is one trait we all share here in our house.
I'm looking forward to this fall as a time to rediscover my career again and be able to focus myself on that part of my life. The imbalanced feeling I've had in the decade now that I've had a baby or toddler in my life is now getting better.
I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm sleeping again and I have mental energy to think about my own goals, dreams and aspirations.
I also have a househould (barely) functioning in a deep monthly deficit with no credit cards ( which is a good thing long term). My desire to explore my own career options and live my own truth as a career woman and mom is getting very up close and personal with a true need to find a way or ways to feed my family.
It all feels very complicated right now.
With a month until school starts, I'm working on the various models that I think I can manifest once I have all my ducklings in school. I'm needing some Plans A-F at this point and then we'll see which one works given all the particulars.
Two years into my non job/contract life, I still have faith that if I hang on to what I think is important and keep focused but flexible, that I'll find success "even in this economy." My last contracted ended the same month as the stock market crashed in '08. It's been fun times since then, for sure, but I continue to know that it will all make sense later. Until then, I keep swimming and casting those nets and knowing that something is going to work out.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Art Salon = truth intervention
The first step towards self improvement is admitting the truth, right? I already knew my truth related to "what I want to do", but I didn't really want to look at it. The truth had be obscured by a series of events- aka my life.
I remember years ago watching a guy on Oprah talking about how you always knew what you wanted to be, but had forgotten. Just look back at what you loved to do as a child and you would unlock your passion, he was saying. He also got into looking at this knowledge of what you always wanted to be as an guideline, not just literal. I thought a lot about what lessons came from my early ruminations about my then-future career.
I've always wanted to be a writer, as long as I can recall. I blame an early diet of female literary figures. I worked at it a lot as a child and into my early adult years. Then I realized that to be a writer I needed to get a life of my own in order to have something to say. So I put down my camera and pen and focused on said life and found myself drawn to jobs with writing involved, but not really traditionally creative roles. Meanwhile, looking back on my childhood- I always played "orphanage" with my dolls and friends I could suck into that game. I was an only child and I watched a lot of Shirley Temple movies and thought a lot about kids with no families.
By the time in my life where I was contemplating these choices I had been in the non profit sector a long time. It seemed like a fit as what I was meant to do, if I was listening to my childhood. I love helping people. I love being of service. I loved having a job that paid me to do things I would never have done on my own and what many people volunteer to do. I loved getting paid to do good works that I felt positive about when I hit the pillow at night.
When that path in my life came to a halt and I woke up with three kids in 2009 and no clear career direction, I had to reconsider all of it again. I wasn't really sure what role "dream job" could play in my life given the particulars going on in my life now. Most of what has driven me is the idea of a "job that pays" which has moved me forward in some ways, but hasn't helped me connect much with what I'm really trying to do here on this soil. I've made some hard choices along my leap of faith and I guess there's no turning back now.
Last week, I went to something called at Art Salon put on by my fabulous friend Andrea. The presenter was John Paul Thornton who talked about his book Art and Courage (http://www.atlasbooks.com/marktplc/02691.htm) and a variety of other topics. There was a lot of discussion about connecting with your inner artist and applying courage to various junctures in our lives. I felt fired up to get involved with my inner grrl artist, but she's rather tied up with logistically pragmatic issues at the moment like securing non dream income.
Then Andrea went around and asked us all what we were looking for through the Art Salon and played the role ( excellently, I might add) as moderator as we each worked through our stuff. I was in the hot seat third, following an amazingly inspiring woman who is very successful as a composer and working in kids television now. I felt like a dweeb. I felt like my brain was on fire as Andrea asked me about my goals and where I've been and what I've been working on. Mostly I've been working on not drowning, so I wasn't sure how to answer. Then she asked me, "if you could have my dream job, what would it be?" and I just couldn't answer that question well in my own head. I articulated that I thought I would want to work in TV. I may have said as a writer. My head was on fire, I don't recall what I actually verbalized.
After that, I felt really nauseous. I just hadn't been able to connect with my truth at that point. I had to stew in it for a few days to remember the truth. My dream job is to be an author. Or to be a cartoon voice. A cartoon laugh really. And be on Oprah. It kinda is all about Oprah.
I mean really my dream job is to not have to work, right? Then I can do what I want because I think it is awesome. That would be great too. But when someone says "dream job" to me, I start thinking about the implications of that word "job" and what I think it should mean. How do I want to earn a living? What do I want my legacy to be? What drives my spirit like a fun bus to Vegas? Writing. Duh. Last year around this time, Andrea told me to "stop being a pussy" and start blogging. I finally took her advice and started this blog which has been fun for me ever since. I know that if I keep writing, something exciting will happen.
So I want to write and I want to laugh. These are not bad outcomes as a truth gained at a Salon of amazing women.
I remember years ago watching a guy on Oprah talking about how you always knew what you wanted to be, but had forgotten. Just look back at what you loved to do as a child and you would unlock your passion, he was saying. He also got into looking at this knowledge of what you always wanted to be as an guideline, not just literal. I thought a lot about what lessons came from my early ruminations about my then-future career.
I've always wanted to be a writer, as long as I can recall. I blame an early diet of female literary figures. I worked at it a lot as a child and into my early adult years. Then I realized that to be a writer I needed to get a life of my own in order to have something to say. So I put down my camera and pen and focused on said life and found myself drawn to jobs with writing involved, but not really traditionally creative roles. Meanwhile, looking back on my childhood- I always played "orphanage" with my dolls and friends I could suck into that game. I was an only child and I watched a lot of Shirley Temple movies and thought a lot about kids with no families.
By the time in my life where I was contemplating these choices I had been in the non profit sector a long time. It seemed like a fit as what I was meant to do, if I was listening to my childhood. I love helping people. I love being of service. I loved having a job that paid me to do things I would never have done on my own and what many people volunteer to do. I loved getting paid to do good works that I felt positive about when I hit the pillow at night.
When that path in my life came to a halt and I woke up with three kids in 2009 and no clear career direction, I had to reconsider all of it again. I wasn't really sure what role "dream job" could play in my life given the particulars going on in my life now. Most of what has driven me is the idea of a "job that pays" which has moved me forward in some ways, but hasn't helped me connect much with what I'm really trying to do here on this soil. I've made some hard choices along my leap of faith and I guess there's no turning back now.
Last week, I went to something called at Art Salon put on by my fabulous friend Andrea. The presenter was John Paul Thornton who talked about his book Art and Courage (http://www.atlasbooks.com/marktplc/02691.htm) and a variety of other topics. There was a lot of discussion about connecting with your inner artist and applying courage to various junctures in our lives. I felt fired up to get involved with my inner grrl artist, but she's rather tied up with logistically pragmatic issues at the moment like securing non dream income.
Then Andrea went around and asked us all what we were looking for through the Art Salon and played the role ( excellently, I might add) as moderator as we each worked through our stuff. I was in the hot seat third, following an amazingly inspiring woman who is very successful as a composer and working in kids television now. I felt like a dweeb. I felt like my brain was on fire as Andrea asked me about my goals and where I've been and what I've been working on. Mostly I've been working on not drowning, so I wasn't sure how to answer. Then she asked me, "if you could have my dream job, what would it be?" and I just couldn't answer that question well in my own head. I articulated that I thought I would want to work in TV. I may have said as a writer. My head was on fire, I don't recall what I actually verbalized.
After that, I felt really nauseous. I just hadn't been able to connect with my truth at that point. I had to stew in it for a few days to remember the truth. My dream job is to be an author. Or to be a cartoon voice. A cartoon laugh really. And be on Oprah. It kinda is all about Oprah.
I mean really my dream job is to not have to work, right? Then I can do what I want because I think it is awesome. That would be great too. But when someone says "dream job" to me, I start thinking about the implications of that word "job" and what I think it should mean. How do I want to earn a living? What do I want my legacy to be? What drives my spirit like a fun bus to Vegas? Writing. Duh. Last year around this time, Andrea told me to "stop being a pussy" and start blogging. I finally took her advice and started this blog which has been fun for me ever since. I know that if I keep writing, something exciting will happen.
So I want to write and I want to laugh. These are not bad outcomes as a truth gained at a Salon of amazing women.
Monday, March 29, 2010
My Year Without A Job: Lessons in media and tradition
Facebook saved my spirit when I lost my income. I got wrapped up playing apps and honing my skill as a gamer while I stewed in my own sadness. I reconnected with old friends and started new relationships because of this community connecting superhighway inside the box.
Since I worked at a university for a good chunk of the last chunk of the last decade or so, I was in a great position to understand social media, even "at my age." I started with Myspace while I was working at CSUN and found that it was a great way to stay connected with my favorite students after I left. Then came Facebook and Twitter and things got really interesting at that point. I found myself swimming along the social networking currents and learning a lot along the way. After a couple years of living in this realm, I find that I enjoy it a lot and that I am happy that I used my time without a job description to teach myself some modern skills. As a mom of three kids, I want to feel as current in the marketplace as I can while still maintaining a sense of life balance.
Here are some of my lessons learned around media, 2010, being a career changer and trying to stay current in some changing energy currents:
1. Get your story straight. What's your plan? What is it you are trying to accomplish using social media? Be clear about what you want to offer and what you want in exchange. When I would say "I am a grant writer" at parties or on Facebook, people would say "whaaa?" and then eventually they might think of a non profit they know who "needs someone like me" ( typically as a volunteer) which they talk about like I do voo doo. I had to get clear with what I was seeking in a career path, how I thought people in my life might help. I needed to learn to make it easy to understand and clear in regards to what I needed. I had to get clear with myself about what I thought I needed. You might seek the services of a career coach, life coach, therapist, representative of faith or other guidance oriented human for this part of the process. There's a lot to sort through in getting your story figured out when you feel confused.
2. Be open minded - While simultaneously getting more clear about your needs and what you think might be a next step for your career path as illustrated in my #1, you also have to be open minded to where the solution may originate. Friends from previous schools and jobs may provide the keys to your current issues. You may find a new career direction comes at you from unexpected places and in packages you didn't expect.
3. It is about who you know, especially in this kind of economy. People who know you are more interested in helping you. I had to get over some embarrassment about needing help finding my career path again. I started posting more and more about my quest and I got all sorts of different types of assistance as a result. My 350 "friends" on Facebook reflect my forty years of life. Some of them I've known since I was born and I have lots of people gained in the journey. Now I can share my life with them in little bite sized nuggets and I can enjoy looking at what they are eating for lunch today. In the end, our relationships ( fostered through social media) were what got us back on the income path. My husband's new boss was one of my favorite, active student volunteers at CSUN.
4. Get over your hang ups about asking for help. If you are stuck in your quest for income, help can only be, well, helpful. Stop worrying about how you will look to others and start talking about what you need. Family parties, social media, lunch dates with former co-workers are all valid places to spread the news about what you are looking for and how others might help you get it. People in your life probably want to help you and the people who like to talk smack about your personal lives are gonna talk anyways. So stop worrying and start connecting to people who care about you and want to help you.
5. Find faith. Find a support system. Find therapy. Find something that helps you put a frame of your experience for you. The internet is great for this. You can get on career related boards, social boards and niche boards. What you need during times of crisis and change is a sense that you are not alone. That's where the internet really shines. Without my mothering boards, I would have not survived early motherhood. Many of these women are still my friends ( now on Facebook). I still love mothering related boards and I find a lot of compassion and great ideas at these centers of online communities, even career related. I also have used social media to connect with others who share my faith. I find this very satisfying and helpful during times where I've felt my faith ( and resolve in my own plan) was being tested. Seeking tribe in one form or another is import during career transition. Equally important is having a focus for your group efforts so it doesn't become a pity party.
Since I worked at a university for a good chunk of the last chunk of the last decade or so, I was in a great position to understand social media, even "at my age." I started with Myspace while I was working at CSUN and found that it was a great way to stay connected with my favorite students after I left. Then came Facebook and Twitter and things got really interesting at that point. I found myself swimming along the social networking currents and learning a lot along the way. After a couple years of living in this realm, I find that I enjoy it a lot and that I am happy that I used my time without a job description to teach myself some modern skills. As a mom of three kids, I want to feel as current in the marketplace as I can while still maintaining a sense of life balance.
Here are some of my lessons learned around media, 2010, being a career changer and trying to stay current in some changing energy currents:
1. Get your story straight. What's your plan? What is it you are trying to accomplish using social media? Be clear about what you want to offer and what you want in exchange. When I would say "I am a grant writer" at parties or on Facebook, people would say "whaaa?" and then eventually they might think of a non profit they know who "needs someone like me" ( typically as a volunteer) which they talk about like I do voo doo. I had to get clear with what I was seeking in a career path, how I thought people in my life might help. I needed to learn to make it easy to understand and clear in regards to what I needed. I had to get clear with myself about what I thought I needed. You might seek the services of a career coach, life coach, therapist, representative of faith or other guidance oriented human for this part of the process. There's a lot to sort through in getting your story figured out when you feel confused.
2. Be open minded - While simultaneously getting more clear about your needs and what you think might be a next step for your career path as illustrated in my #1, you also have to be open minded to where the solution may originate. Friends from previous schools and jobs may provide the keys to your current issues. You may find a new career direction comes at you from unexpected places and in packages you didn't expect.
3. It is about who you know, especially in this kind of economy. People who know you are more interested in helping you. I had to get over some embarrassment about needing help finding my career path again. I started posting more and more about my quest and I got all sorts of different types of assistance as a result. My 350 "friends" on Facebook reflect my forty years of life. Some of them I've known since I was born and I have lots of people gained in the journey. Now I can share my life with them in little bite sized nuggets and I can enjoy looking at what they are eating for lunch today. In the end, our relationships ( fostered through social media) were what got us back on the income path. My husband's new boss was one of my favorite, active student volunteers at CSUN.
4. Get over your hang ups about asking for help. If you are stuck in your quest for income, help can only be, well, helpful. Stop worrying about how you will look to others and start talking about what you need. Family parties, social media, lunch dates with former co-workers are all valid places to spread the news about what you are looking for and how others might help you get it. People in your life probably want to help you and the people who like to talk smack about your personal lives are gonna talk anyways. So stop worrying and start connecting to people who care about you and want to help you.
5. Find faith. Find a support system. Find therapy. Find something that helps you put a frame of your experience for you. The internet is great for this. You can get on career related boards, social boards and niche boards. What you need during times of crisis and change is a sense that you are not alone. That's where the internet really shines. Without my mothering boards, I would have not survived early motherhood. Many of these women are still my friends ( now on Facebook). I still love mothering related boards and I find a lot of compassion and great ideas at these centers of online communities, even career related. I also have used social media to connect with others who share my faith. I find this very satisfying and helpful during times where I've felt my faith ( and resolve in my own plan) was being tested. Seeking tribe in one form or another is import during career transition. Equally important is having a focus for your group efforts so it doesn't become a pity party.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Living my own truth
When I had a j-o-b with a description and an HR department attached, I had an identity applied to me. These titles I held helped to define me. When I lost my title, along with my income, over a year ago, I thought my life was over. I wasn't sure how to define myself anymore. The tasks I was getting paid for before are no longer priority funding areas. The news in my former industry
(non profit and education) continues to be troubling.
Meanwhile, my self worth and sense of who I am professionally took a nose dive. That was painful.
My career has been safe and tidy up until recently. I made seemingly wise choices to direct me towards my goals. When I found myself without a safe path anymore, I was in shock. That shock led me to have to face a few questions.
Career discovery questions:
1. What would I do if I wasn't being paid to do anything in particular?
2. After my year without a job, what was I doing with my time? Where was my energy in 2010?
3. What is really important to me in 2010 and what are my priorities now?
4. What lessons can I take from my year without a job into my next life phase?
The reason I separate questions one and two is that I asked myself the question about my time over the course of my year without a job. At first it was more speculative. I wasn't sure what I would end up doing other than freaking out about not having income. What I learned was that I love talking on the phone and on-line, writing and helping other people solve their own problems. I also like to volunteer and consult and stay mentally connected to projects that inspire me.
After a while, I learned what I was actually doing with my time. I had spent a lot of energy on on-line social networking and writing and PR over my year without a job. I had learned new skills around PR and found myself with a strange hobby of getting national press talking about my life. Hunh.
When my husband got an income generating position with a non profit, I had to take a hard look at my own priorities with my income earning life. I've been in do-gooder, service oriented jobs my whole adult life. Now that I have an active volunteer, family and community life, I don't have the same emotional needs I did before with my career. Now I want my career to fit into my life and be part of who I am now. I'm excited to be getting involved with new projects and new adventures in a more for-profit world. I figure that if I can find a way to make a good income and support my family, all the better.
I continue to marvel at how we made it through this year without income. It took a lot of fortitude. I want to be aware of the lessons I gained in my year and try to use my experiences to make the best informed choices I can moving forward.
Some things I've come to understand:
1. I love writing. I was in denial about it. It's what I always wanted to do. Writing grants as my career path was a great back up plan, but now I feel I have something to say for myself. Having the opportunity to express myself with reporters helped me a lot. Working with reporters helped me understand the business of writing. I'm not sure many of us are completely clear about how to make money in 2010 writing, but we're sure working at it! I plan to keep writing and talking until someone pays me to write or talk for them.
2. I still want to work from home. I love my hybrid mom/career life. It works for me and it is the dream I always had growing up. I want to have my career and be connected with my kids. For me, that means working from home at this point. I continue to seek ways to succeed in this goal and get the bottom line to a better place.
3. Selling myself is hard. Coming up with a list of the skills I am willing to "sell" has been a challenge. Applying for a job with a description that makes sense to me is easy, creating my own path is much more difficult. I'm getting there.
I'm just swimming along these days. I'm happy I'm not settling for a job I don't feel is a fit and I'm also happy that I'm forging my own path. I'm pretty clear that's the way you find success- do what you love and the rest will follow. In a modern real life, however, that's a tall order to accomplish.
(non profit and education) continues to be troubling.
Meanwhile, my self worth and sense of who I am professionally took a nose dive. That was painful.
My career has been safe and tidy up until recently. I made seemingly wise choices to direct me towards my goals. When I found myself without a safe path anymore, I was in shock. That shock led me to have to face a few questions.
Career discovery questions:
1. What would I do if I wasn't being paid to do anything in particular?
2. After my year without a job, what was I doing with my time? Where was my energy in 2010?
3. What is really important to me in 2010 and what are my priorities now?
4. What lessons can I take from my year without a job into my next life phase?
The reason I separate questions one and two is that I asked myself the question about my time over the course of my year without a job. At first it was more speculative. I wasn't sure what I would end up doing other than freaking out about not having income. What I learned was that I love talking on the phone and on-line, writing and helping other people solve their own problems. I also like to volunteer and consult and stay mentally connected to projects that inspire me.
After a while, I learned what I was actually doing with my time. I had spent a lot of energy on on-line social networking and writing and PR over my year without a job. I had learned new skills around PR and found myself with a strange hobby of getting national press talking about my life. Hunh.
When my husband got an income generating position with a non profit, I had to take a hard look at my own priorities with my income earning life. I've been in do-gooder, service oriented jobs my whole adult life. Now that I have an active volunteer, family and community life, I don't have the same emotional needs I did before with my career. Now I want my career to fit into my life and be part of who I am now. I'm excited to be getting involved with new projects and new adventures in a more for-profit world. I figure that if I can find a way to make a good income and support my family, all the better.
I continue to marvel at how we made it through this year without income. It took a lot of fortitude. I want to be aware of the lessons I gained in my year and try to use my experiences to make the best informed choices I can moving forward.
Some things I've come to understand:
1. I love writing. I was in denial about it. It's what I always wanted to do. Writing grants as my career path was a great back up plan, but now I feel I have something to say for myself. Having the opportunity to express myself with reporters helped me a lot. Working with reporters helped me understand the business of writing. I'm not sure many of us are completely clear about how to make money in 2010 writing, but we're sure working at it! I plan to keep writing and talking until someone pays me to write or talk for them.
2. I still want to work from home. I love my hybrid mom/career life. It works for me and it is the dream I always had growing up. I want to have my career and be connected with my kids. For me, that means working from home at this point. I continue to seek ways to succeed in this goal and get the bottom line to a better place.
3. Selling myself is hard. Coming up with a list of the skills I am willing to "sell" has been a challenge. Applying for a job with a description that makes sense to me is easy, creating my own path is much more difficult. I'm getting there.
I'm just swimming along these days. I'm happy I'm not settling for a job I don't feel is a fit and I'm also happy that I'm forging my own path. I'm pretty clear that's the way you find success- do what you love and the rest will follow. In a modern real life, however, that's a tall order to accomplish.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Always Here
As a latch key kid of working divorced parents, it was important to me to that my kids got to see me and my husband.... while they were still kids. Afternoon snack, homework and play time are two of my favorite parts of being a work-at- home mom. I've learned that, while I may not be as involved as a 100% dedicated mom can be, I can still hit transitions with the kids all day and I enjoy those. We eat cook and eat together a lot more than the average family does these days, I think.
In fact, while the current term stay at home mom seems to apply to fewer and fewer of my friends, I also notice that these women ( or their counter part the stay at home dad) don't "stay" at home as much as I do as a work-from-home mom. I always thought the term stay-at-home mom was awkward, primarily because I see these moms out volunteering, shlepping to events, doing family chores, etc. Because I'm tethered to my job, I have to be home to do it. I stay at home a lot, trying to find time to get it all done.
On the other hand, I am always home. My life has conspired to make this possible since I don't drive, but my kids know I'm always here and I think they benefit from that stability. I may be cranky if I'm in project mode, but they know where to find me. In the middle of all the ways I can feel like a crappy parent, I know that my kids have the security of knowing where they can find me.
My youngest turns five this year and we'll be leaving early childhood behind us when he goes off to Kindergarden. I'm counting the days now, in part because I can't wait for a new phase in my life when we have all three in (the same) school and also because I will miss having the little dude around. This should be the last child we see through this phase of life. I didn't get to witness all of these times with my daughters because I was working outside the home then and my husband was the work-at-home parent. For a time, we were both home, first working from home at the same time and then notably NOT working for a year. We've gotten to spend a lot of time with our children and also work on volunteer projects that benefit our kids.
With Bill working outside now, I'm in the parenting hot seat full time, even though I still need to earn income. I feel like a better career person than full time parent. Having a paying job is easier than full-time motherhood, in my opinion. With motherhood as your main role, you are never off duty and there's not a lot of immediate gratification like a paycheck. You don't get the adult small talk patter of an office and you don't get the validation of a business title based on your years of study and hard work. It's hard to survive on one income in LA under the best economies and the realities of what being 100% dedicated to family means to the bottom line are difficult to handle.
I'm not trying to make a case that being a work at home mom is better than being a full-time dedicated mom, but for me it is a better fit. I do want to make the case that this motherhood thing is really complicated in 2010. I still want my own identity as career minded sort of person. I still want to feel like an adult sometimes with a clear job description and HR department. For me, not working is really hard. It's in my DNA to work.
I do think that if my husband's salary covered all the bills, then I would look at motherhood as my career and it might feel differently to me. But that's not the case today and I can't imagine it as a path that would be a great fit for me anyway. I didn't want to be a mom who was always working, but I also didn't want to be the mom who has a gap in her life when her kids grow up.
So much balancing needed in this crazy life.
This week I have a sick child and that's when I feel the most justified in being at home, however I'm here. My schedule is flexible and I don't feel stressed about how I'm going to deal with her being home. And where one is sick, there may be more. I'm always home though and so it doesn't stress me. I like doing nurse-mom stuff as much as I like snack-mom duty, so this is all good.
In fact, while the current term stay at home mom seems to apply to fewer and fewer of my friends, I also notice that these women ( or their counter part the stay at home dad) don't "stay" at home as much as I do as a work-from-home mom. I always thought the term stay-at-home mom was awkward, primarily because I see these moms out volunteering, shlepping to events, doing family chores, etc. Because I'm tethered to my job, I have to be home to do it. I stay at home a lot, trying to find time to get it all done.
On the other hand, I am always home. My life has conspired to make this possible since I don't drive, but my kids know I'm always here and I think they benefit from that stability. I may be cranky if I'm in project mode, but they know where to find me. In the middle of all the ways I can feel like a crappy parent, I know that my kids have the security of knowing where they can find me.
My youngest turns five this year and we'll be leaving early childhood behind us when he goes off to Kindergarden. I'm counting the days now, in part because I can't wait for a new phase in my life when we have all three in (the same) school and also because I will miss having the little dude around. This should be the last child we see through this phase of life. I didn't get to witness all of these times with my daughters because I was working outside the home then and my husband was the work-at-home parent. For a time, we were both home, first working from home at the same time and then notably NOT working for a year. We've gotten to spend a lot of time with our children and also work on volunteer projects that benefit our kids.
With Bill working outside now, I'm in the parenting hot seat full time, even though I still need to earn income. I feel like a better career person than full time parent. Having a paying job is easier than full-time motherhood, in my opinion. With motherhood as your main role, you are never off duty and there's not a lot of immediate gratification like a paycheck. You don't get the adult small talk patter of an office and you don't get the validation of a business title based on your years of study and hard work. It's hard to survive on one income in LA under the best economies and the realities of what being 100% dedicated to family means to the bottom line are difficult to handle.
I'm not trying to make a case that being a work at home mom is better than being a full-time dedicated mom, but for me it is a better fit. I do want to make the case that this motherhood thing is really complicated in 2010. I still want my own identity as career minded sort of person. I still want to feel like an adult sometimes with a clear job description and HR department. For me, not working is really hard. It's in my DNA to work.
I do think that if my husband's salary covered all the bills, then I would look at motherhood as my career and it might feel differently to me. But that's not the case today and I can't imagine it as a path that would be a great fit for me anyway. I didn't want to be a mom who was always working, but I also didn't want to be the mom who has a gap in her life when her kids grow up.
So much balancing needed in this crazy life.
This week I have a sick child and that's when I feel the most justified in being at home, however I'm here. My schedule is flexible and I don't feel stressed about how I'm going to deal with her being home. And where one is sick, there may be more. I'm always home though and so it doesn't stress me. I like doing nurse-mom stuff as much as I like snack-mom duty, so this is all good.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Faith and Career Change ~ 2010 Style
I had been waiting so long for an answer to what happens next for us with our careers that I was shocked when it arrived. The last three weeks since my husband went back to work in an office have been trippy for all of us. We've have to adjust from two of us at home worrying about who would get a paying opportunity first and where it would come from. Now we know and knowing is half the battle.
The other half of the battle, where I re-balance my life, has been taking most of my energy since Bill went back to an office. It has been over a decade since he worked outside our home and I really didn't see this coming in the script. The good news for me is that now I get to explore what's next for me with a little more clarity. With both of us out of work, it has been a true test of our faith with the plans we had for ourselves. We weren't sure were the solution would come from, we only knew that we had to hang on long enough to get ourselves there. After a year of neither of us bringing in much income, we were just about at the point of no return when the solution arrived. YAY!
Faith is a part of career changing - faith in a higher purpose, faith that it will all work out, faith in yourself. For me, this journey has been a test of my faith and now I feel content that things are going along as they should be. I was feeling pretty out of whack there, but I knew it would make sense eventually. Once we got a piece of the puzzle established- one of us employed- we were able to see how the whole picture is evolving. Now I feel like I'm connected with my higher purpose again which feels awesome. Amazing what happens when you pay attention.
With a sense that we can pay some of our bills, I can now analyze what I need to do next. Interestingly, I've come to understand that I don't need my job to have the meaning that it once did. In the past, working in non-profits has allowed me to feel good about my career and that's helped me feel good about my life. Now my life is multi-textured with family and community connections that bring meaning into my world. My career needed to do that in the past and now it doesn't. Interesting. Now I'm interesting in talking and writing and hopefully earning a giant pile of money so I can support my family in Los Angeles now that my husband has a non-profit job full of meaning. I feel focused and like I'm in the right place for me. Whew.
While I'm finding it hard to adjust to the new paradigm, I'm also feeling extremely happy about where I'm at these days. I feel like I'm using my natural born gifts for good and doing important work in a different way now. I feel connected to my own purpose and ready to just get the job done. YAY!
I'll post more soon about some exciting projects brewing in my world. For today, I wanted to share about keeping the faith - whatever that means to you- during hard times. Tests of faith help up prove to ourselves that we're on the right path. That we are not crazy ( or it doesn't matter) and that our plans are going to work out. These tests suck about as much as tests in school did, but they help us assess where we are. And just like a smily face and "perfecto" on a spelling test can make a seven year old beam with pride, so too can we feel pride in accomplishing our goals and making it through the rough, testy times. Hopefully all this testing leads to becoming more knowledgeable, wiser creatures.
The other half of the battle, where I re-balance my life, has been taking most of my energy since Bill went back to an office. It has been over a decade since he worked outside our home and I really didn't see this coming in the script. The good news for me is that now I get to explore what's next for me with a little more clarity. With both of us out of work, it has been a true test of our faith with the plans we had for ourselves. We weren't sure were the solution would come from, we only knew that we had to hang on long enough to get ourselves there. After a year of neither of us bringing in much income, we were just about at the point of no return when the solution arrived. YAY!
Faith is a part of career changing - faith in a higher purpose, faith that it will all work out, faith in yourself. For me, this journey has been a test of my faith and now I feel content that things are going along as they should be. I was feeling pretty out of whack there, but I knew it would make sense eventually. Once we got a piece of the puzzle established- one of us employed- we were able to see how the whole picture is evolving. Now I feel like I'm connected with my higher purpose again which feels awesome. Amazing what happens when you pay attention.
With a sense that we can pay some of our bills, I can now analyze what I need to do next. Interestingly, I've come to understand that I don't need my job to have the meaning that it once did. In the past, working in non-profits has allowed me to feel good about my career and that's helped me feel good about my life. Now my life is multi-textured with family and community connections that bring meaning into my world. My career needed to do that in the past and now it doesn't. Interesting. Now I'm interesting in talking and writing and hopefully earning a giant pile of money so I can support my family in Los Angeles now that my husband has a non-profit job full of meaning. I feel focused and like I'm in the right place for me. Whew.
While I'm finding it hard to adjust to the new paradigm, I'm also feeling extremely happy about where I'm at these days. I feel like I'm using my natural born gifts for good and doing important work in a different way now. I feel connected to my own purpose and ready to just get the job done. YAY!
I'll post more soon about some exciting projects brewing in my world. For today, I wanted to share about keeping the faith - whatever that means to you- during hard times. Tests of faith help up prove to ourselves that we're on the right path. That we are not crazy ( or it doesn't matter) and that our plans are going to work out. These tests suck about as much as tests in school did, but they help us assess where we are. And just like a smily face and "perfecto" on a spelling test can make a seven year old beam with pride, so too can we feel pride in accomplishing our goals and making it through the rough, testy times. Hopefully all this testing leads to becoming more knowledgeable, wiser creatures.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Leaping Leaps of Faith
Once upon a time, my husband and I decided that the office life was killing me slowly and I needed to come home and "find myself" and my path. His career looked stable and I had contracts lined up to consult. Then the world changed.
From 2006 when I quit my steady job with the student assistants and the office and the door, things started to get funky in the economy. But I had taken a leap of faith. Things got leapy very quickly.
I guess with leaps of faith part of the gig is that you don't know where you are headed, you just have to trust that the direction will lead you where you need to go. That's much easier to say than do, as the last few years of my life can illustrate. Going a year without income from either Bill or myself was a huge test of our character and convictions. We learned a lot about the system and what happens when you are suddenly out of your tax bracket. We learned a lot about people in our lives- those who rose to the occasion and stuck it out with us and those who pulled away because it was too hard to witness the painful parts.
When I left my job at CSU Northridge coordinating student volunteers in non profits, I thought I would be a non profit consultant next in my life. My plan was to develop myself as a resource for organizations and as a grant writer. Three years later, my husband is hired as a grant writer. He's getting more calls for video game projects too. His career is back on track to be consistent and allow me to explore my own career path in 2010 as a mother of three with transportation issues.
My husband's non profit salary is not enough to allow me to completely slack off as I search for myself. But the benefits will help calm me down a lot. He has not had a consistent job in a long time. The stability of it is intoxicating to me. MMMMM....... Smells like the ability to plan ahead a little. YAY!
As for me, I'm still leaping along. My plan now is to keep talking and writing till someone pays to shut me up. I'm looking for paying work I can do from home that allows me to stay true to my ham and not compromise my own values. I'm also looking ahead at my youngest starting school next year with his sisters. That means I can make different choices then. YAY! And now I can plan for my path and see what happens.
Leaping along....... Bill starts his new job today and I start my quest for new life patterns.
Nikki
From 2006 when I quit my steady job with the student assistants and the office and the door, things started to get funky in the economy. But I had taken a leap of faith. Things got leapy very quickly.
I guess with leaps of faith part of the gig is that you don't know where you are headed, you just have to trust that the direction will lead you where you need to go. That's much easier to say than do, as the last few years of my life can illustrate. Going a year without income from either Bill or myself was a huge test of our character and convictions. We learned a lot about the system and what happens when you are suddenly out of your tax bracket. We learned a lot about people in our lives- those who rose to the occasion and stuck it out with us and those who pulled away because it was too hard to witness the painful parts.
When I left my job at CSU Northridge coordinating student volunteers in non profits, I thought I would be a non profit consultant next in my life. My plan was to develop myself as a resource for organizations and as a grant writer. Three years later, my husband is hired as a grant writer. He's getting more calls for video game projects too. His career is back on track to be consistent and allow me to explore my own career path in 2010 as a mother of three with transportation issues.
My husband's non profit salary is not enough to allow me to completely slack off as I search for myself. But the benefits will help calm me down a lot. He has not had a consistent job in a long time. The stability of it is intoxicating to me. MMMMM....... Smells like the ability to plan ahead a little. YAY!
As for me, I'm still leaping along. My plan now is to keep talking and writing till someone pays to shut me up. I'm looking for paying work I can do from home that allows me to stay true to my ham and not compromise my own values. I'm also looking ahead at my youngest starting school next year with his sisters. That means I can make different choices then. YAY! And now I can plan for my path and see what happens.
Leaping along....... Bill starts his new job today and I start my quest for new life patterns.
Nikki
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Flipping roles and working out the puzzle
One of the things I haven't talked a lot about in the Blog is my husband's career and what's happening there. He's been a freelance writer working primarily in the video game world for over a decade. With a change in that industry, his career has changed too. He's been seeking meaning in his career for a long time now. Meaning that he wasn't getting from the video game world. A few years ago, he started volunteering with Boards of Directors for organizations he cares about and our school. He learned a lot about the non profit world directly and that helped augment the knowledge osmosis he experienced being around me and my non profit pursuits all these years.
So, to make a long story short, he was offered a grant writing job with a non profit he cares about. It is a regular, on-going, stable job. It has benefits. It looks a lot like the jobs I used to do- lots of rewards that don't show up in the paycheck. We have now flipped roles and hopefully we don't flip out.
In this new economy, we've faced facts that our earning potential is decreased right now. Since we are specialized, finding jobs that are a match has been one issue. Then we have to factor in that these roles don't pay like they did five years ago. We're not sure what the future will hold in terms of income levels, but we know that the past is over. Time to center into 2010 and what we have in the here and now.
I'm earning money writing now which makes it official- I'm a writer, among other things. I get to be the freelancer now and find myself again professionally as a forty-something mom of three.
I'm excited that Bill is the one doing the desk job this time and that I get a chance to see what I can do is I have some space to flex my wings. Having a consistent income will surely help me process!
He starts next week and then I get to see how to make the puzzle work. The good news is that, after both of us out of work for a year, we're still alive and kicking. We made it through and now we just have to keep plugging away and be patient and persistent. Whew.
So, to make a long story short, he was offered a grant writing job with a non profit he cares about. It is a regular, on-going, stable job. It has benefits. It looks a lot like the jobs I used to do- lots of rewards that don't show up in the paycheck. We have now flipped roles and hopefully we don't flip out.
In this new economy, we've faced facts that our earning potential is decreased right now. Since we are specialized, finding jobs that are a match has been one issue. Then we have to factor in that these roles don't pay like they did five years ago. We're not sure what the future will hold in terms of income levels, but we know that the past is over. Time to center into 2010 and what we have in the here and now.
I'm earning money writing now which makes it official- I'm a writer, among other things. I get to be the freelancer now and find myself again professionally as a forty-something mom of three.
I'm excited that Bill is the one doing the desk job this time and that I get a chance to see what I can do is I have some space to flex my wings. Having a consistent income will surely help me process!
He starts next week and then I get to see how to make the puzzle work. The good news is that, after both of us out of work for a year, we're still alive and kicking. We made it through and now we just have to keep plugging away and be patient and persistent. Whew.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Getting the priorities straightened out
Earlier this year, when faced with some job opportunities that didn't meet my needs, I started to think about what criterion I would use for evaluating potential jobs. My top three priorities were:
1. Work from home (or flexibly in an office)
2. Justify my LA lifestyle
3. Use my skills and background well
I said no to a few opportunities along the way and I feel like I'm better off for it. My gut tells me that if I can just hang on long enough everything will work out as planned. I took a leap of faith and now I have to keep trusting that it will all work out fine. That's not easy to do in this economy with three kids and a husband who has a career in about the same boat as mine.
But we've worked it through this far and we're fairly stubborn people which is a trait I'm planning to exploit now.
In evaluating my next moves about the job opening I am considering now, I've had to re-think my priorities. My career has been dedicated to the non profit sector and yet now I find myself with twenty years of experience yet unable to find a role that allows me financially to keep my family where we are now. As I see it in the present, I may have to transition our of the non profit sector in order to survive in Los Angeles. When Bill and I originally made our career choices together over 15 years ago, we were in a different space and time. He was going to be a wildly successful writer and I was going to have a fulfilling career in the non profit world where I felt I was making a difference.
I've been taking progressively responsible roles since I started working and I like learning on the job. My positions have neatly segued so far and now I am here a year after my last role ended wondering which way to go.
In 2010, with parts of our plan come to fruition and others not, and with the changing tides of the world we live in, we've had to re-evaluate what we think might work. And we have three kids under 10 years old who need us in many ways.
I recently found a piece I wrote in 1993 as if I was forty years old. I'm forty years old now. My twenty four year old self pretty much nailed it, although I think I had nicer clothes in my vision earlier and we had two kids rather than three. It was a romanticized version of exactly what I created in my life. Reading the pages where I detail out how I thought it would all turn out is very interesting for me now. I'm finding lots of clues in here about how to get myself back on course. I'm sure I'll be talking more about parts of it in blogs to come.
My twenty four year old self thought I would be getting into politics at this time in my life which is true. She thought I would be running for public office. I don't see that happening any time soon, but I would be interested in working in politics. I'm jotting down that clue for my present self. I also said that I will have won awards for my community service which is true.
I also thought I would have two best selling children's books by this time in my life.
Hunh.
In other goal work I did around the same time, I reflect that I wanted to learn how to write grants so that I could write grants for my children's school one day. My mother in law had offset tuition for her children at private schools by working for them. This seemed like a good strategy to me as a young person who liked working with kids and wanted to have children of my own.
I saw myself growing and writing grants for my children's school. That's one thing I definitely did accomplish. My children are fortunate enough to attend an amazing Charter school and so tuition has not been a factor for us, for which I feel very fortunate. I have worked for Charter schools writing grants and I consider it part of my path to help the grant world in Charter schools as much as I can. I really like empowering others to write grants. That fills my cup more than about anything else does.
One of the things that's hitting me about my career is that my "mission centered" career in the non profit world has been somewhat external to me all this time. My career, spanning educational programs, Habitat For Humanity, volunteer coordination at CSUN,program design, development consulting and grant writing has been varied and broad. As I developed in my career, I realized that I wanted to impact children more broadly that my original idea out of high school which was to become a special education teacher. I've done that in my career through the roles I've taken.
In 2010, however, I am a champion not only for broadly impacting programs but also for my own three amazing children. I put my mission centered career into how I live my life. Since I left my job recruiting and managing volunteers and became one myself, I've grown immeasurably.
I am involved in politics and impacting children broadly through my work as a parent and advocate for Charter schools. I watch LAUSD meetings for fun now and I enjoy being an involved, informed and active parent. That's giving me what me career used to give me.
That brings us back to 2010 and my need to get this figured out in the present. I'm hoping that my renewed zest for finding options turns up some interesting tidbits this week. My plan is to hit the books and puzzle out my transferable skills and what I'll willing to do about them.
I'm also looking to clarify my objectives as per my priorities outlined above. I think I need to get more specific to get what I want out of my next steps. I also have to find my zen and trust that what I need is going to happen for me. This is a delicate balance right now.
1. Work from home (or flexibly in an office)
2. Justify my LA lifestyle
3. Use my skills and background well
I said no to a few opportunities along the way and I feel like I'm better off for it. My gut tells me that if I can just hang on long enough everything will work out as planned. I took a leap of faith and now I have to keep trusting that it will all work out fine. That's not easy to do in this economy with three kids and a husband who has a career in about the same boat as mine.
But we've worked it through this far and we're fairly stubborn people which is a trait I'm planning to exploit now.
In evaluating my next moves about the job opening I am considering now, I've had to re-think my priorities. My career has been dedicated to the non profit sector and yet now I find myself with twenty years of experience yet unable to find a role that allows me financially to keep my family where we are now. As I see it in the present, I may have to transition our of the non profit sector in order to survive in Los Angeles. When Bill and I originally made our career choices together over 15 years ago, we were in a different space and time. He was going to be a wildly successful writer and I was going to have a fulfilling career in the non profit world where I felt I was making a difference.
I've been taking progressively responsible roles since I started working and I like learning on the job. My positions have neatly segued so far and now I am here a year after my last role ended wondering which way to go.
In 2010, with parts of our plan come to fruition and others not, and with the changing tides of the world we live in, we've had to re-evaluate what we think might work. And we have three kids under 10 years old who need us in many ways.
I recently found a piece I wrote in 1993 as if I was forty years old. I'm forty years old now. My twenty four year old self pretty much nailed it, although I think I had nicer clothes in my vision earlier and we had two kids rather than three. It was a romanticized version of exactly what I created in my life. Reading the pages where I detail out how I thought it would all turn out is very interesting for me now. I'm finding lots of clues in here about how to get myself back on course. I'm sure I'll be talking more about parts of it in blogs to come.
My twenty four year old self thought I would be getting into politics at this time in my life which is true. She thought I would be running for public office. I don't see that happening any time soon, but I would be interested in working in politics. I'm jotting down that clue for my present self. I also said that I will have won awards for my community service which is true.
I also thought I would have two best selling children's books by this time in my life.
Hunh.
In other goal work I did around the same time, I reflect that I wanted to learn how to write grants so that I could write grants for my children's school one day. My mother in law had offset tuition for her children at private schools by working for them. This seemed like a good strategy to me as a young person who liked working with kids and wanted to have children of my own.
I saw myself growing and writing grants for my children's school. That's one thing I definitely did accomplish. My children are fortunate enough to attend an amazing Charter school and so tuition has not been a factor for us, for which I feel very fortunate. I have worked for Charter schools writing grants and I consider it part of my path to help the grant world in Charter schools as much as I can. I really like empowering others to write grants. That fills my cup more than about anything else does.
One of the things that's hitting me about my career is that my "mission centered" career in the non profit world has been somewhat external to me all this time. My career, spanning educational programs, Habitat For Humanity, volunteer coordination at CSUN,program design, development consulting and grant writing has been varied and broad. As I developed in my career, I realized that I wanted to impact children more broadly that my original idea out of high school which was to become a special education teacher. I've done that in my career through the roles I've taken.
In 2010, however, I am a champion not only for broadly impacting programs but also for my own three amazing children. I put my mission centered career into how I live my life. Since I left my job recruiting and managing volunteers and became one myself, I've grown immeasurably.
I am involved in politics and impacting children broadly through my work as a parent and advocate for Charter schools. I watch LAUSD meetings for fun now and I enjoy being an involved, informed and active parent. That's giving me what me career used to give me.
That brings us back to 2010 and my need to get this figured out in the present. I'm hoping that my renewed zest for finding options turns up some interesting tidbits this week. My plan is to hit the books and puzzle out my transferable skills and what I'll willing to do about them.
I'm also looking to clarify my objectives as per my priorities outlined above. I think I need to get more specific to get what I want out of my next steps. I also have to find my zen and trust that what I need is going to happen for me. This is a delicate balance right now.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Evaluating options- when is any job a good job?
When the year turned, I starting noticing more opportunities popping up again. Recently we were contacted by an old friend with a current job in a non-profit for a cause we care about. Grant Writing jobs are hard to come by in this climate. So seeing a actual grant position caused me to feel happiness. Then I saw the salary and needs of the position and I felt defeated again. This is a position that either Bill or I might consider, but neither of us was planning to hit an office again full time any time soon (we've hung on this long, after all) and the salary associated with the responsibilities involved is very low. It isn't an easy position to handle and it doesn't really pay what we need. Uh oh. There are other benefits to the position ( including health care which is exciting), but all of these things need to be weighed out now. We have some thinking to do. When do you say "when?"
One of my friends who had been unemployed for a while was recently hired at for half of what they earned before. The comment on the matter was "twice as much as unemployment."
So using that logic, it is twice as much as nothing which is where I'm at considering I didn't qualify for unemployment benefits because I had most recently been an independent contractor.
In theory any job is a good job right? I went back to my "Just say no" blog and reviewed my main criterion for decision making at that point. This fits one of my three main criterion because it is a good match for my skills. While the position is not from home, it isn't as far away from home as some non- profit jobs want to be and there may be flexibility to work from home at some point. My third criterion, however, is that my job needs to justify living in LA. This role definitely serves the people of Los Angeles and so that adds some emotional connection for me. But financially living in LA, I have to figure out how to make my own life work before I can help others right now. With Bill not working steadily either, a position that is full time plus at a low pay rate that doesn't help us keep our lifestyle now is scary.
But any job is a good job really, right? Maybe I'm being too picky? Maybe I should suck it up and take a job I would have been awesome at 15 years ago when I was more focused on my career? Maybe I should be happy to be getting a paycheck. I'm not sure how to feel here.
Much to consider here in clan Maxwell. The good news is that more little gigs and opportunities have been happening for us this week. I'm taking it as a good sign that the phone ( and inbox) are ringing. It does make me feel better to see things coming back again. Non profits are starting to think clearly again about planning and realizing where they fit in the new economy. The video game world where Bill often dwells is starting to lurch back into business after the great freeze on game development of 2008-2009.
Feel free to comment. I'm trying to sort through the choices and you are welcome to chime in. I'm sure it will be an interesting weekend of discussions here.
One of my friends who had been unemployed for a while was recently hired at for half of what they earned before. The comment on the matter was "twice as much as unemployment."
So using that logic, it is twice as much as nothing which is where I'm at considering I didn't qualify for unemployment benefits because I had most recently been an independent contractor.
In theory any job is a good job right? I went back to my "Just say no" blog and reviewed my main criterion for decision making at that point. This fits one of my three main criterion because it is a good match for my skills. While the position is not from home, it isn't as far away from home as some non- profit jobs want to be and there may be flexibility to work from home at some point. My third criterion, however, is that my job needs to justify living in LA. This role definitely serves the people of Los Angeles and so that adds some emotional connection for me. But financially living in LA, I have to figure out how to make my own life work before I can help others right now. With Bill not working steadily either, a position that is full time plus at a low pay rate that doesn't help us keep our lifestyle now is scary.
But any job is a good job really, right? Maybe I'm being too picky? Maybe I should suck it up and take a job I would have been awesome at 15 years ago when I was more focused on my career? Maybe I should be happy to be getting a paycheck. I'm not sure how to feel here.
Much to consider here in clan Maxwell. The good news is that more little gigs and opportunities have been happening for us this week. I'm taking it as a good sign that the phone ( and inbox) are ringing. It does make me feel better to see things coming back again. Non profits are starting to think clearly again about planning and realizing where they fit in the new economy. The video game world where Bill often dwells is starting to lurch back into business after the great freeze on game development of 2008-2009.
Feel free to comment. I'm trying to sort through the choices and you are welcome to chime in. I'm sure it will be an interesting weekend of discussions here.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Changing Careers for Dummies- time to get bookish
I spent several years working in the Career Center at CSU, Northridge and more years beyond that counseling students about how volunteerism can impact career choices. I dispensed a lot of career guidance wisdom. My own career seemed pretty straight forward and was rolling out like good cookie dough. And then something went wrong with my recipe and now I find myself as a career changer at age 40 with 3 kids and a complicated lifestyle. Now I have to practice what I used to preach.
Armed with library books, websites, a white board with dry erase markers and lots of paper, I'm going to tackle my career changing dilemmas and look at some of my friends who seem to be in the same boat. In my case, I took a leap of faith when I left the stable state job and I'm still leaping away. What's hung me up was that my recipe went awry when I didn't count the economy tanking into my timeline. My husband's career took a huge hit in the last few years as well just when it looked like his plans were on track. I've had to face facts that my consulting career will need a little more time to get where I need it to be in order to support my family. Plus my niche market for the type of consulting I do in in a special place right now. Time for a new plan, new niches and broader approaches to what I do. Time to get busy.
My opinion of career exploration is that any process is a good one. I went to library and listened to friends and came up with a few books to get myself started. I'm looking for structure.
I want simple forms that help me understand how to fix the problem today. There are people who have formed their careers around career development and have figured out a thing or two.
I looked for systems that seemed easy to use. I would love to see the 2010 version of Parachute, but I don't want to invest in a hard cover at this time. Maybe after I wade into the 2006 library version, I'll be inspired to pay the $28 to buy the current book. There are chapters in the latest addition that talk about finding a job in hard times. Ironically, this version is not available yet at our libraries in LA. Whine. I'm having problems figuring out how to easily link into the library database, so I've found the books on Amazon just in case you want to make a purchase.
What Color Is Your Parachute? 2006 version- Richard Nelson Bolles. This is what I'm working from checked out at the library. I'll be referring to this book a lot in the coming blogs as I figure out what tools will help me.
Here's a link for the 2010 version I found on Amazon for a soft cover modern version at a great rate. YAY! I may have to buy it and then see where that gets us. http://www.amazon.com/What-Color-Your-Parachute-2010/dp/1580089879/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1262555857&sr=8-1
For now, I'll be using the 2006 library option since I'm trying to go about this the low-budget way whenever possible. It would be handy if the library carried the version with the "hard times" section, eh?
I'm also reading and using book "Do What You Love For the Rest of Your Life- a practical guide to career change and personal renewal" by Bob Griffiths, also checked out from the LAPL.
I like the tone of this book and am finding many of the chapters and practically minded tools appealing. I think I'll be doing worksheets from various books as I progress. For now, I am enjoying reading this one and soaking up the positive perspective on gaining a sense of personal renewal with my career. Here's the Amazon link: http://www.amazon.com/What-Love-Rest-Your-Life/dp/0345441397/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1262556343&sr=8-1, but I found it in the library on-line at http://www.lapl.org/.
My last book stack entry into the mix is "Changing Careers for Dummies" by Carol L. McClelland.
This book sums up my experience right now. I feel like a dummy being in my situation. I didn't expect to land in this position when I took my leap of faith, yet here I am. I have to do something and this book distills my next steps into bites I can handle. I also enjoy the humor and easy to read format. Here's the Amazon link for this one:http://www.amazon.com/Changing-Careers-Dummies-Carol-McClelland/dp/0764553763/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1262556489&sr=8-1
I'm looking forward to getting started with these books this week and getting myself back in action and focused on what I need to do next. I'll be blogging about what comes of all that and I hope you'll share your own career process stories here. Thanks!
Armed with library books, websites, a white board with dry erase markers and lots of paper, I'm going to tackle my career changing dilemmas and look at some of my friends who seem to be in the same boat. In my case, I took a leap of faith when I left the stable state job and I'm still leaping away. What's hung me up was that my recipe went awry when I didn't count the economy tanking into my timeline. My husband's career took a huge hit in the last few years as well just when it looked like his plans were on track. I've had to face facts that my consulting career will need a little more time to get where I need it to be in order to support my family. Plus my niche market for the type of consulting I do in in a special place right now. Time for a new plan, new niches and broader approaches to what I do. Time to get busy.
My opinion of career exploration is that any process is a good one. I went to library and listened to friends and came up with a few books to get myself started. I'm looking for structure.
I want simple forms that help me understand how to fix the problem today. There are people who have formed their careers around career development and have figured out a thing or two.
I looked for systems that seemed easy to use. I would love to see the 2010 version of Parachute, but I don't want to invest in a hard cover at this time. Maybe after I wade into the 2006 library version, I'll be inspired to pay the $28 to buy the current book. There are chapters in the latest addition that talk about finding a job in hard times. Ironically, this version is not available yet at our libraries in LA. Whine. I'm having problems figuring out how to easily link into the library database, so I've found the books on Amazon just in case you want to make a purchase.
What Color Is Your Parachute? 2006 version- Richard Nelson Bolles. This is what I'm working from checked out at the library. I'll be referring to this book a lot in the coming blogs as I figure out what tools will help me.
Here's a link for the 2010 version I found on Amazon for a soft cover modern version at a great rate. YAY! I may have to buy it and then see where that gets us. http://www.amazon.com/What-Color-Your-Parachute-2010/dp/1580089879/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1262555857&sr=8-1
For now, I'll be using the 2006 library option since I'm trying to go about this the low-budget way whenever possible. It would be handy if the library carried the version with the "hard times" section, eh?
I'm also reading and using book "Do What You Love For the Rest of Your Life- a practical guide to career change and personal renewal" by Bob Griffiths, also checked out from the LAPL.
I like the tone of this book and am finding many of the chapters and practically minded tools appealing. I think I'll be doing worksheets from various books as I progress. For now, I am enjoying reading this one and soaking up the positive perspective on gaining a sense of personal renewal with my career. Here's the Amazon link: http://www.amazon.com/What-Love-Rest-Your-Life/dp/0345441397/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1262556343&sr=8-1, but I found it in the library on-line at http://www.lapl.org/.
My last book stack entry into the mix is "Changing Careers for Dummies" by Carol L. McClelland.
This book sums up my experience right now. I feel like a dummy being in my situation. I didn't expect to land in this position when I took my leap of faith, yet here I am. I have to do something and this book distills my next steps into bites I can handle. I also enjoy the humor and easy to read format. Here's the Amazon link for this one:http://www.amazon.com/Changing-Careers-Dummies-Carol-McClelland/dp/0764553763/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1262556489&sr=8-1
I'm looking forward to getting started with these books this week and getting myself back in action and focused on what I need to do next. I'll be blogging about what comes of all that and I hope you'll share your own career process stories here. Thanks!
Friday, January 1, 2010
On the hunt: 2010 and time to find my inner career cougar
I've been watching the show Cougartown a lot recently. Go ahead and laugh, but I am getting somewhere with this. While I'm not single and ready to mingle as a forty-something mom like the main character is, I am forty and facing big life changes. The lighthearted look at transition really appeals to me right now. I like thinking about how to be more empowered and bold. I'm ready to begin the actual hunt for the new career path. I've accepted that my past is over and now I have to be present in my circumstance and do my thing. I am a Career Changer in the worst economy of my lifetime, with three kids and a need to be mission centered in my career. Ruh-roh.
Here's my agenda for the next few weeks to getting myself aligned with where I am now (which can look very swirly sometimes) and returning back to the game of being an income earner.
I'm interested in income a lot these days, but I don't want to blow my ship totally off course either. I keep trying to play my circumstances smart and I can see myself in ten years saying "wow, that sucked and here's what worked for me to get through it." But this is one map that makes itself as you go along and the career landscape is changing fast in 2010.
Here's my self-help regimen for Winter 2010 to get my career hunt back on:
1. Books! The library has a pretty good selection of career related books. For best choice of titles, I suggest looking on-line and placing a hold to go to your local branch. I've been soaking up a lot of books lately. I'll be blogging soon about my process with the "What Color is Your Parachute" series and other books like "Changing Careers for Dummies." What matters, in my opinion, is that any process is probably good process. You need a plan to succeed and then if that plan fails, develop ( yet another) plan to work it out. Most career books offer practical steps to get answers. Since I'm just swirling around the questions, I need a way to get to the answers.
Writing things down and brainstorming work well for me. I also like to write some of my process and then burn it to let go of that intention. So I'm going to grill myself until the timer of my Easy Bake oven goes off. Lots of planning to do to get myself where I want to be. Books are a good place to start. Actually do the work they suggest and you'll probably be better for it.
2. Clothes! Having a plan is important with clothes and "the look."
This is where I wish I looked like Courtney Cox for my own hunting purposes.
I have shoes older than my children. My eldest is almost 10. I spent my professional office years at a university where I had event related polo shirts as a uniform most of the time. I worked at Habitat for Humanity before CSUN and so my wardrobe has never been well developed. I would wear jeans all the time if allowed. But jeans are not going to get be hired in this economy. At least not doing the types of jobs I need to be taking on in order to support my family.
My dad and his wife just bought me a bunch of clothes for professional use. I found stuff that really suits who I am now and also says "2010 modernly dressed woman" and not Oprah's "frumpelina." The shoes are an outstanding issue yet to be resolved. I'll be posting about my adventure in clothes later too. Having a plan is what is really important with clothes and "the look." I can't afford to go buy a lot of anything right now. So I have to shop smart, hunt for bargains and be open minded. But I also don't want to look crazy in the latest trends.
However I get to the goal, I need to design my look around the job I want and find a way to make that happen.
3. Connect and communicate! Since I'm working off-road with my career now, I need to keep talking and connecting with people in my life. You never know where opportunity may find you or how your past may connect to your future. It does get old to keep talking about my career woes at family functions and in social occasions. It's not a bright, fun topic. However, learning to frame the madness in my life around communicating with others has helped me understand where I am in the modern day, 2010. I've learned that sounding like an Eeyore gets you "ho hum" results while sounding like a Tigger gets you positive feedback ( and occasional confused looks.)
My plan is to keep talking about my career till somebody directs my time by making me an income earner again. The more I talk about it, the more clarity I gain about what may work for me. Trying to be positive while talking to others has taught me a lot about how I might steer my ship. I have to find a positive way to communicate to people when they ask "what kind of job are you looking for?" or "what do you do?" It's my role in this puzzle to be positive and open minded, but I also have to start naming my intentions to other people or I'll never get anywhere.
Whew. Welcome 2010~
Three is enough tips for me today. I'm gonna go get my career cougar on now. Time to get focused and find a way to make all of this work. Whoot!
Here's my agenda for the next few weeks to getting myself aligned with where I am now (which can look very swirly sometimes) and returning back to the game of being an income earner.
I'm interested in income a lot these days, but I don't want to blow my ship totally off course either. I keep trying to play my circumstances smart and I can see myself in ten years saying "wow, that sucked and here's what worked for me to get through it." But this is one map that makes itself as you go along and the career landscape is changing fast in 2010.
Here's my self-help regimen for Winter 2010 to get my career hunt back on:
1. Books! The library has a pretty good selection of career related books. For best choice of titles, I suggest looking on-line and placing a hold to go to your local branch. I've been soaking up a lot of books lately. I'll be blogging soon about my process with the "What Color is Your Parachute" series and other books like "Changing Careers for Dummies." What matters, in my opinion, is that any process is probably good process. You need a plan to succeed and then if that plan fails, develop ( yet another) plan to work it out. Most career books offer practical steps to get answers. Since I'm just swirling around the questions, I need a way to get to the answers.
Writing things down and brainstorming work well for me. I also like to write some of my process and then burn it to let go of that intention. So I'm going to grill myself until the timer of my Easy Bake oven goes off. Lots of planning to do to get myself where I want to be. Books are a good place to start. Actually do the work they suggest and you'll probably be better for it.
2. Clothes! Having a plan is important with clothes and "the look."
This is where I wish I looked like Courtney Cox for my own hunting purposes.
I have shoes older than my children. My eldest is almost 10. I spent my professional office years at a university where I had event related polo shirts as a uniform most of the time. I worked at Habitat for Humanity before CSUN and so my wardrobe has never been well developed. I would wear jeans all the time if allowed. But jeans are not going to get be hired in this economy. At least not doing the types of jobs I need to be taking on in order to support my family.
My dad and his wife just bought me a bunch of clothes for professional use. I found stuff that really suits who I am now and also says "2010 modernly dressed woman" and not Oprah's "frumpelina." The shoes are an outstanding issue yet to be resolved. I'll be posting about my adventure in clothes later too. Having a plan is what is really important with clothes and "the look." I can't afford to go buy a lot of anything right now. So I have to shop smart, hunt for bargains and be open minded. But I also don't want to look crazy in the latest trends.
However I get to the goal, I need to design my look around the job I want and find a way to make that happen.
3. Connect and communicate! Since I'm working off-road with my career now, I need to keep talking and connecting with people in my life. You never know where opportunity may find you or how your past may connect to your future. It does get old to keep talking about my career woes at family functions and in social occasions. It's not a bright, fun topic. However, learning to frame the madness in my life around communicating with others has helped me understand where I am in the modern day, 2010. I've learned that sounding like an Eeyore gets you "ho hum" results while sounding like a Tigger gets you positive feedback ( and occasional confused looks.)
My plan is to keep talking about my career till somebody directs my time by making me an income earner again. The more I talk about it, the more clarity I gain about what may work for me. Trying to be positive while talking to others has taught me a lot about how I might steer my ship. I have to find a positive way to communicate to people when they ask "what kind of job are you looking for?" or "what do you do?" It's my role in this puzzle to be positive and open minded, but I also have to start naming my intentions to other people or I'll never get anywhere.
Whew. Welcome 2010~
Three is enough tips for me today. I'm gonna go get my career cougar on now. Time to get focused and find a way to make all of this work. Whoot!
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