Living my own truth

When I had a j-o-b with a description and an HR department attached, I had an identity applied to me. These titles I held helped to define me. When I lost my title, along with my income, over a year ago, I thought my life was over. I wasn't sure how to define myself anymore. The tasks I was getting paid for before are no longer priority funding areas. The news in my former industry
(non profit and education) continues to be troubling.

Meanwhile, my self worth and sense of who I am professionally took a nose dive. That was painful.
My career has been safe and tidy up until recently. I made seemingly wise choices to direct me towards my goals. When I found myself without a safe path anymore, I was in shock. That shock led me to have to face a few questions.

Career discovery questions:

1. What would I do if I wasn't being paid to do anything in particular?

2. After my year without a job, what was I doing with my time? Where was my energy in 2010?

3. What is really important to me in 2010 and what are my priorities now?

4. What lessons can I take from my year without a job into my next life phase?

The reason I separate questions one and two is that I asked myself the question about my time over the course of my year without a job. At first it was more speculative. I wasn't sure what I would end up doing other than freaking out about not having income. What I learned was that I love talking on the phone and on-line, writing and helping other people solve their own problems. I also like to volunteer and consult and stay mentally connected to projects that inspire me.

After a while, I learned what I was actually doing with my time. I had spent a lot of energy on on-line social networking and writing and PR over my year without a job. I had learned new skills around PR and found myself with a strange hobby of getting national press talking about my life. Hunh.

When my husband got an income generating position with a non profit, I had to take a hard look at my own priorities with my income earning life. I've been in do-gooder, service oriented jobs my whole adult life. Now that I have an active volunteer, family and community life, I don't have the same emotional needs I did before with my career. Now I want my career to fit into my life and be part of who I am now. I'm excited to be getting involved with new projects and new adventures in a more for-profit world. I figure that if I can find a way to make a good income and support my family, all the better.

I continue to marvel at how we made it through this year without income. It took a lot of fortitude. I want to be aware of the lessons I gained in my year and try to use my experiences to make the best informed choices I can moving forward.

Some things I've come to understand:

1. I love writing. I was in denial about it. It's what I always wanted to do. Writing grants as my career path was a great back up plan, but now I feel I have something to say for myself. Having the opportunity to express myself with reporters helped me a lot. Working with reporters helped me understand the business of writing. I'm not sure many of us are completely clear about how to make money in 2010 writing, but we're sure working at it! I plan to keep writing and talking until someone pays me to write or talk for them.

2. I still want to work from home. I love my hybrid mom/career life. It works for me and it is the dream I always had growing up. I want to have my career and be connected with my kids. For me, that means working from home at this point. I continue to seek ways to succeed in this goal and get the bottom line to a better place.

3. Selling myself is hard. Coming up with a list of the skills I am willing to "sell" has been a challenge. Applying for a job with a description that makes sense to me is easy, creating my own path is much more difficult. I'm getting there.

I'm just swimming along these days. I'm happy I'm not settling for a job I don't feel is a fit and I'm also happy that I'm forging my own path. I'm pretty clear that's the way you find success- do what you love and the rest will follow. In a modern real life, however, that's a tall order to accomplish.