Living my own truth

When I had a j-o-b with a description and an HR department attached, I had an identity applied to me. These titles I held helped to define me. When I lost my title, along with my income, over a year ago, I thought my life was over. I wasn't sure how to define myself anymore. The tasks I was getting paid for before are no longer priority funding areas. The news in my former industry
(non profit and education) continues to be troubling.

Meanwhile, my self worth and sense of who I am professionally took a nose dive. That was painful.
My career has been safe and tidy up until recently. I made seemingly wise choices to direct me towards my goals. When I found myself without a safe path anymore, I was in shock. That shock led me to have to face a few questions.

Career discovery questions:

1. What would I do if I wasn't being paid to do anything in particular?

2. After my year without a job, what was I doing with my time? Where was my energy in 2010?

3. What is really important to me in 2010 and what are my priorities now?

4. What lessons can I take from my year without a job into my next life phase?

The reason I separate questions one and two is that I asked myself the question about my time over the course of my year without a job. At first it was more speculative. I wasn't sure what I would end up doing other than freaking out about not having income. What I learned was that I love talking on the phone and on-line, writing and helping other people solve their own problems. I also like to volunteer and consult and stay mentally connected to projects that inspire me.

After a while, I learned what I was actually doing with my time. I had spent a lot of energy on on-line social networking and writing and PR over my year without a job. I had learned new skills around PR and found myself with a strange hobby of getting national press talking about my life. Hunh.

When my husband got an income generating position with a non profit, I had to take a hard look at my own priorities with my income earning life. I've been in do-gooder, service oriented jobs my whole adult life. Now that I have an active volunteer, family and community life, I don't have the same emotional needs I did before with my career. Now I want my career to fit into my life and be part of who I am now. I'm excited to be getting involved with new projects and new adventures in a more for-profit world. I figure that if I can find a way to make a good income and support my family, all the better.

I continue to marvel at how we made it through this year without income. It took a lot of fortitude. I want to be aware of the lessons I gained in my year and try to use my experiences to make the best informed choices I can moving forward.

Some things I've come to understand:

1. I love writing. I was in denial about it. It's what I always wanted to do. Writing grants as my career path was a great back up plan, but now I feel I have something to say for myself. Having the opportunity to express myself with reporters helped me a lot. Working with reporters helped me understand the business of writing. I'm not sure many of us are completely clear about how to make money in 2010 writing, but we're sure working at it! I plan to keep writing and talking until someone pays me to write or talk for them.

2. I still want to work from home. I love my hybrid mom/career life. It works for me and it is the dream I always had growing up. I want to have my career and be connected with my kids. For me, that means working from home at this point. I continue to seek ways to succeed in this goal and get the bottom line to a better place.

3. Selling myself is hard. Coming up with a list of the skills I am willing to "sell" has been a challenge. Applying for a job with a description that makes sense to me is easy, creating my own path is much more difficult. I'm getting there.

I'm just swimming along these days. I'm happy I'm not settling for a job I don't feel is a fit and I'm also happy that I'm forging my own path. I'm pretty clear that's the way you find success- do what you love and the rest will follow. In a modern real life, however, that's a tall order to accomplish.

Faith and Career Change ~ 2010 Style

I had been waiting so long for an answer to what happens next for us with our careers that I was shocked when it arrived. The last three weeks since my husband went back to work in an office have been trippy for all of us. We've have to adjust from two of us at home worrying about who would get a paying opportunity first and where it would come from. Now we know and knowing is half the battle.

The other half of the battle, where I re-balance my life, has been taking most of my energy since Bill went back to an office. It has been over a decade since he worked outside our home and I really didn't see this coming in the script. The good news for me is that now I get to explore what's next for me with a little more clarity. With both of us out of work, it has been a true test of our faith with the plans we had for ourselves. We weren't sure were the solution would come from, we only knew that we had to hang on long enough to get ourselves there. After a year of neither of us bringing in much income, we were just about at the point of no return when the solution arrived. YAY!

Faith is a part of career changing - faith in a higher purpose, faith that it will all work out, faith in yourself. For me, this journey has been a test of my faith and now I feel content that things are going along as they should be. I was feeling pretty out of whack there, but I knew it would make sense eventually. Once we got a piece of the puzzle established- one of us employed- we were able to see how the whole picture is evolving. Now I feel like I'm connected with my higher purpose again which feels awesome. Amazing what happens when you pay attention.

With a sense that we can pay some of our bills, I can now analyze what I need to do next. Interestingly, I've come to understand that I don't need my job to have the meaning that it once did. In the past, working in non-profits has allowed me to feel good about my career and that's helped me feel good about my life. Now my life is multi-textured with family and community connections that bring meaning into my world. My career needed to do that in the past and now it doesn't. Interesting. Now I'm interesting in talking and writing and hopefully earning a giant pile of money so I can support my family in Los Angeles now that my husband has a non-profit job full of meaning. I feel focused and like I'm in the right place for me. Whew.

While I'm finding it hard to adjust to the new paradigm, I'm also feeling extremely happy about where I'm at these days. I feel like I'm using my natural born gifts for good and doing important work in a different way now. I feel connected to my own purpose and ready to just get the job done. YAY!

I'll post more soon about some exciting projects brewing in my world. For today, I wanted to share about keeping the faith - whatever that means to you- during hard times. Tests of faith help up prove to ourselves that we're on the right path. That we are not crazy ( or it doesn't matter) and that our plans are going to work out. These tests suck about as much as tests in school did, but they help us assess where we are. And just like a smily face and "perfecto" on a spelling test can make a seven year old beam with pride, so too can we feel pride in accomplishing our goals and making it through the rough, testy times. Hopefully all this testing leads to becoming more knowledgeable, wiser creatures.