My Year Without A Job: Lessons in media and tradition

Facebook saved my spirit when I lost my income. I got wrapped up playing apps and honing my skill as a gamer while I stewed in my own sadness. I reconnected with old friends and started new relationships because of this community connecting superhighway inside the box.

Since I worked at a university for a good chunk of the last chunk of the last decade or so, I was in a great position to understand social media, even "at my age." I started with Myspace while I was working at CSUN and found that it was a great way to stay connected with my favorite students after I left. Then came Facebook and Twitter and things got really interesting at that point. I found myself swimming along the social networking currents and learning a lot along the way. After a couple years of living in this realm, I find that I enjoy it a lot and that I am happy that I used my time without a job description to teach myself some modern skills. As a mom of three kids, I want to feel as current in the marketplace as I can while still maintaining a sense of life balance.

Here are some of my lessons learned around media, 2010, being a career changer and trying to stay current in some changing energy currents:

1. Get your story straight. What's your plan? What is it you are trying to accomplish using social media? Be clear about what you want to offer and what you want in exchange. When I would say "I am a grant writer" at parties or on Facebook, people would say "whaaa?" and then eventually they might think of a non profit they know who "needs someone like me" ( typically as a volunteer) which they talk about like I do voo doo. I had to get clear with what I was seeking in a career path, how I thought people in my life might help. I needed to learn to make it easy to understand and clear in regards to what I needed. I had to get clear with myself about what I thought I needed. You might seek the services of a career coach, life coach, therapist, representative of faith or other guidance oriented human for this part of the process. There's a lot to sort through in getting your story figured out when you feel confused.

2. Be open minded - While simultaneously getting more clear about your needs and what you think might be a next step for your career path as illustrated in my #1, you also have to be open minded to where the solution may originate. Friends from previous schools and jobs may provide the keys to your current issues. You may find a new career direction comes at you from unexpected places and in packages you didn't expect.

3. It is about who you know, especially in this kind of economy. People who know you are more interested in helping you. I had to get over some embarrassment about needing help finding my career path again. I started posting more and more about my quest and I got all sorts of different types of assistance as a result. My 350 "friends" on Facebook reflect my forty years of life. Some of them I've known since I was born and I have lots of people gained in the journey. Now I can share my life with them in little bite sized nuggets and I can enjoy looking at what they are eating for lunch today. In the end, our relationships ( fostered through social media) were what got us back on the income path. My husband's new boss was one of my favorite, active student volunteers at CSUN.

4. Get over your hang ups about asking for help. If you are stuck in your quest for income, help can only be, well, helpful. Stop worrying about how you will look to others and start talking about what you need. Family parties, social media, lunch dates with former co-workers are all valid places to spread the news about what you are looking for and how others might help you get it. People in your life probably want to help you and the people who like to talk smack about your personal lives are gonna talk anyways. So stop worrying and start connecting to people who care about you and want to help you.

5. Find faith. Find a support system. Find therapy. Find something that helps you put a frame of your experience for you. The internet is great for this. You can get on career related boards, social boards and niche boards. What you need during times of crisis and change is a sense that you are not alone. That's where the internet really shines. Without my mothering boards, I would have not survived early motherhood. Many of these women are still my friends ( now on Facebook). I still love mothering related boards and I find a lot of compassion and great ideas at these centers of online communities, even career related. I also have used social media to connect with others who share my faith. I find this very satisfying and helpful during times where I've felt my faith ( and resolve in my own plan) was being tested. Seeking tribe in one form or another is import during career transition. Equally important is having a focus for your group efforts so it doesn't become a pity party.