A Year Without A Job- holiday edition

A year ago, I still felt pretty much like myself. I expected that an opportunity would come my way and my life would stay pretty much the way it was before. My lay-off was just a glitch to the plan. Right?

It was this time last year ( after my spate of press) that I started to face the music about what was coming in my career and also for my husband in his niche. My life was changing, my state ( CA) was changing, the world was changing. Uh-oh. I have three kids and it is holiday time. Crap.

I come from a retail background and I enjoyed the mall in my day, it is true. I do miss consumption sometimes. Finding myself without an income in the middle of a ginormous economic crisis was not what I had in mind for my life. At the holidays last year, I wanted so desperately to retain my normal. I felt in shock about how the heck I was going to keep going for my three kids and get this figured out.

In the year since then, I've realized a few things and I'm gonna share those now:

1. Presence, not presents, make the holidays. While having less income means less presents, it means my husband and I are available more often for our children. My kids want my attention and focus more than they really want that toy they'll play with five times and then discard.

2. Family togetherness is fun. I've noticed this year that we do more chores together as a family now and sing often while we do them. We all make up silly songs as part of our daily lives and we love to sing. So now that we are home more and at the mall/movies/activity less, we sing more. We also drum, play games, create shows, watch Youtube, etc. as a family. It's more enjoyable than I knew coming into this. Sometimes I feel stressed about the not-working thing and feel like an irresponsible parent. Then I go cook something with my kids and I feel better.

3. Traditions are what makes a family. My kids are coming up with all sorts of things we do "every year" now. It is awesome and fun. We like to spread cheer and joy as a family and I'm noticing that the kids are picking up on some of my habits like going to malls this time of year and just being cheery to stressed out shoppers. My daughters have favorite recipes now and various ideas about what happens when. These little traditions we make will be what they remember more than the absence of the latest toy.

4. Giving Back gives back to you, too. Last year we were getting food from a food bank and my kids, husband and I had to work through that for ourselves. We appreciated the joy in a can we got every time we got food there. The help we received gave us great joy when we needed it most. This year, my girls have been involved with making sure we donate toys and food when we can and we've enjoyed spreading joy in this way. Since we've had some funds this year, we make sure to buy an extra here and there. The girls feel strongly about these donations and so do I. It feels good to help others the way we have been helped. I have hold fast to the idea with my kids that there's always someone who needs our help in this world. This perspective has helped us all weather this crazy year of change.

5. Count your blessings. My family has a lot of resources that other families don't have. We are very fortunate in so many ways. I try to remember that when I want to feel whiny. But more than just realizing that it could be worse, I also have been trying to honor the many people in our lives that help us in ways large and small. This journey of not having an income has been rough, and I wouldn't have made it through without the support in my life that we do have. I've also had to learn to open my mouth and ask for help too. Blessings don't read minds.

I'm looking forward to a week of joy with my family and friends. We have a dear friend who found a new place and is moving this week and we'll be spending some time in the karmic moving continuum. We'll also be playing with our kids, spending time with extended family, working on our own writing careers and looking for ways to earn income so we can live to tell the tale.